Just Say No to Bro Goals

January 11, 2024 juniper stokes

Just say no to bro goals.

Unless that works for you. But I'm taking a more feminine approach this year.

The cult of self help has a particular flavor in the podcast realms…

A lot of the habit-tracking and goal-setting info that makes it's way around the bro-podcast circuits just doesn't work for me.

I like the idea of 5am wake ups, cold showers every day, and pushing through discomfort to see change...

But ultimately, so much of the advice out there separates me further from body and intuition.

I'm cyclical. My energy levels are not the same throughout the month, or the seasons. I need the freedom to create space for my authentic needs without having my mind crowded over with "shoulds".

A lot of women suffer from the idea that we can hack our way to health and force ourselves into productivity…

Which brings me to an observation during a recent meeting of my weekly astrology class.

It’s an advanced class with just a small group of pretty badass women. We were practicing reading each others' charts, and a theme emerged…

We had all burned out. Hard. Enough so that half of us had quit our full time jobs for the sake of our health.

As above, so below.

I think a lot of us were drawn to astrology as part of our recovery.

There’s something incredibly comforting about seeing our human experiences reflected in the cosmos.

I have the fixed star Sirius conjunct my moon. Sothis to the Egyptians, many refer to Sirius as our spiritual sun—a portal to divine wisdom. Makes sense for me as my entire life has been a deep dive into mystical realms.

But Sirius is also known as “the Icarus star”. It blesses us with great inspiration and success…yet this success is almost always followed with a painful crash and burn.

Fortunately, rather than deciding my fate, this cosmic knowledge reminds me that I need to be extra intentional with my self care and energy levels.

AND it helps to not pretend that I will magically create consistent equilibrium in my life. My authentic blueprint inherently has cycles of success and burnout.

The question becomes, how can I work with these cycles instead of pretending they don’t exist?

For me, this means knowing that I will need periods of deep rest between creative projects. If I’m launching a new perfume or writing a hefty Substack series for example, I’ll need to put a few days of self care and rest into my calendar.

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How Mama Moon Saved Me

To heal from the extreme burnout I experienced (by extreme I mean total adrenal fatigue, no cortisol spike at all, inability to digest food, horrible skin, and crying all the time and unable to get out of bed), I knew I needed to start taking more exquisite care of myself than I ever had before.

This meant resisting the pull of mainstream messages about endless productivity and growth and sinking into a slower, earthier way of being.

But here's the challenge: Committing to exquisite self care is one thing—actually doing the self care is another.

Because being totally depleted makes it really, really hard to take care of yourself in even the most basic ways.

As much as bro-hacking doesn’t work for me, I do need some accountability to keep myself healthy. I will absolutely slip into later and later bedtimes, skip vitamins, and put off meditating until "tomorrow" if left completely to my own devices.

I needed help. So I turned to the moon.

In Hellenistic astrology, the Moon is considered to be the closest ally of our human experience. Her cycles directly affect our physical bodies and energy levels.

This is why consciously tuning into the Moon’s cycles can have a profound impact on our well-being.

So I made myself my own cyclical, nature-based habit tracking calendars.

These trackers are based on our monthly calendar system because that's the time my mind lives in. But they incorporate moon cycles because that's the time my body lives in.

Rather than rigid to-do lists that reinforce a mind-over-matter mentality, these lunar calendars help me track and plan according to my authentic cycles.

I’ve used these sheets to become more aware of my own energy levels and natural tendencies with the cycles of the moon, and I was better able to cultivate more sustainable habits on my journey back to health as a result.

I still plan and track goals like taking cold showers in the morning, getting sunlight on my skin within the first 10 minutes of waking, morning movement, pranayama, yoga, vitamins, etc.

But I also plan on skipping cold showers during the first days of my cycle. I put in the best days for certain foods or supplements. I mark the weeks when I'll likely have the most energy to go on long hikes, as well as the weeks when I know I'll need more rest and a hot bath.

I used these sheets all last year and love them.

So I packaged them up into a lovely little set that I can share! This set includes:

🌝 two types of tracking sheets — one for intentions/planning and one for tracking/measuring
🌝 a 20-page moon-syncing guidebook
🌝 a moon cycle wall calendar for fun

You can get yours here.

Using these sheets helped me:

🌚 cultivate more sustainable and nourishing habits, from drinking more water to recommitting to my pranayama practice
🌑 plan ahead for different types of self-care activities (saltwater baths at the new moon, socializing at the waxing moon, long solo hikes near the full moon)
🌒 align my schedule with my natural energy levels—sometimes I just won't be as naturally productive and that's ok
🌓 use different herbal tea blends and eat different foods as my body's needs change throughout each month
🌔 become so in touch with my body that I can more easily spot the first signs that I'm heading towards illness or imbalance, which helps course correct before its too late
🌕 get way happier!!!

And…here are pictures!

Here’s the link to get your moon magic:

2024 Moon Magic Guide

May your new year be filled with a balance of productivity and rest that perfectly meets your uniqueness. Many blessings!