Projection: Healing a Toxic Phenomenon with Shamanism
At some point in our lives, all of us are the mercy of the projections of others. And we know from countless studies that this can affect our ability to bring our full self and gifts into the world in very real ways.
I became acutely aware of this phenomenon during my decade as a university lecturer. Many of the teachers I worked with would form these opinions about who students were and what they were capable of, and this alone had far too great an impact on these students' lives.
I made it a practice very early on in my career to see every student as a whole, individual person. I reminded myself that each one of them had important relationships, responsibilities, and gifts outside of my classroom, and remembered that I was only seeing a part of who they were. (This is something I continue to consciously do with my shamanic clients and students.)
The results of this practice were palpable. Students who had struggled with other teachers blossomed in my classes. Students who I might have written off at the beginning of a semester made surprising progress…And my teacher reviews were always stellar 😉
This approach was hard won for me though. One of my earliest, and still one of my favorite jobs ever, was teaching swimming lessons. I've always been a natural teacher, and I was incredibly good at helping kids make breakthroughs in their swimming abilities.
But there was one class. A super beginner class that was usually made up of 4 or 5 year olds. And I really messed up.
I had only 3 students in this class―two siblings, both about 4 years old and the cutest things ever. And an older girl, about 6 I think, with absolutely zero body awareness.
This girl seemed hopeless. She sank like a rock and thrashed in the water as if her only goal was to splash as many people as possible with her eyes closed.
So, as I taught this two-week session, the siblings made beautiful progress. It was so fun to help them bob and float, to learn basic kicks and arm motions. I loved it.
And the older girl made no progress. I had to fail her at the end of the session.
Parents have the opportunity to submit reviews after each session of swimming lessons, and I usually looked forward to getting mine because they were always so complimentary―happy words, happy ego 😛
The mother of the siblings gave me five-star feedback. The mother of the older girl raked me over the coals. She said I gave preferential treatment to the other children and ignored her daughter and then had the nerve to fail her at the end.
Wow. It stung. But she was right. And I knew it.
The next session, I taught the same class and the same girl was placed with me. My first response was terror―oh god, this mother hates me, and now I have her daughter again?
But I sucked it up and was determined to do better. I consciously efforted to give every student the exact help they needed, no matter what my first impressions were. I stopped viewing the girl as a lost cause and started seeing actual progress in her skills. At the end of the session, she still couldn't pass, but she had made significant improvements.
When it came time for parent feedback, her mother wrote that when she saw that I was her daughter's teacher again, she almost requested a move. But she was so glad she let her stay in my class. She saw the care I gave and improvement her daughter made, and she understood the decision to have her daughter repeat again.
I was young when this happened, as most swimming teachers are, and it was a formative experience for me. A tough lesson, but I've seen what's possible for people when we stop seeing them through our biased filters and open ourselves up to see their true selves.
The Dangers of Becoming Victim to the Projections of Others
Perhaps because I've been aware of the effects of projection from such a young age, I've been extremely sensitive to it in my own life.
Projection is a common, normal phenomenon, and in many cases, it doesn't make that much of a difference. In some cases however, we need to challenge ourselves to remember who we really are in the face of other people's views about us.
One of the more difficult examples of this in my own life happened during my three-year shamanic practitioner training.
I was fortunate enough to be in a relatively small group for this training―only about 25 people. For three years, I spent a huge portion of my time and energy with this community. As we shared our personal struggles and practiced hundreds of healings on each other, we really did get to know everyone in that circle quite intimately.
And this intimacy is what made projection from that group so especially dangerous and uncomfortable.
These were people who believed they knew me inside and out because of what we'd been through together. Yet, no matter how much of what they knew of me was true, there was so much more that they didn't see or know.
Part of their projections occurred because their views of me weren't keeping up with my own inner growth and transformation. Part of this was because our teacher held very strong opinions about who I was and what my issues were―and honestly, a lot of these were reflections of her own triggers. (Note: if you're a healer or teacher, do your work! again and again and again!)
By the end of my three years with this group, I could not wait to escape what felt like a cultish mentality about who I was. The group-think was powerful, and a weaker or less experienced person would absolutely have started to believe the projections put upon them.
Fortunately, my past experiences, as well as the intense personal growth and reflection I engaged in, helped me remember my truth. When I finally graduated, it felt like a toxic weight had been lifted, and I spent the next several months fully reconnecting with my soul's truth.
I don't share this example to shame anyone, and in fact I still absolutely love the magical humans from my training. I have so much respect for who they are and miss seeing them as often as I used to. I share this to show that none of us are immune to projecting upon others, and when it comes to spiritual or healing circles, I feel this can be especially damaging.
I've been reflecting on the role projection has played in my life a lot recently, as I've just experienced another challenging situation because of it. This one was at work. Have you ever had to work for someone who viewed everything you did through a critical lens?
As a recovering perfectionist, I've always had an excellent performance record when it comes to my employment, which currently involves editorial and marketing writing for spiritual content.
But about a year ago, a new manager was hired at our company. And let's be clear―this is a very gifted, heart-centered person who has positively impacted our team in many ways. Yet this person also decided, almost from the moment he met me, that I just wasn't good at my job.
It's been a surreal experience. Nothing in my process or the results I get has changed. Yet no matter what I do, how effective my writing is, or how much I try to show enthusiasm―the projection of me as "not good enough" has remained stronger than any actions on my part.
As a side note, I feel that part of this is because I have a deeply feminine way of working, and this manager thrives on masculine concepts like hunger, fire, and achievement. My process is quiet and deep. I dive into content, connect with the spirit of the book or course I'm working on, and emerge with words channeled from the divine. I wonder how many other women suffer because our way of working doesn't look like the masculine ideals our culture celebrates….
Anyway, all of this endless projection has made an already challenging year that much more difficult. It's been exhausting to keep looking at the actual results and numbers for my projects to keep reminding myself that I am good at what I do. And honestly, it just sucks when projection has the potential to hurt your livelihood.
I'm grateful, however, to work at a company where by and large my colleagues are capable of having difficult conversations without getting defensive or reactive. Recently, I was able to communicate what I felt was happening and how it was impacting me, and I'm hopeful that things will shift, though that's yet to be seen.
Shamanic Perspectives on Healing the Projections in Your Own Life
My inner strength and all the deep work I've done through shamanic practices have given me a clear and evolving understanding of my true self. I'm grateful that I don't easily fall victim to other people's projections.
I'm also extremely grateful that those closest to me―my family, my partner, and my closest friends―see me for who I truly am.
Given how difficult it's been to have projections placed upon me by my shamanic circle and colleagues, I can imagine how exponentially challenging it might be to remember who you really are when these projections do come from loved ones.
Think back upon your life. Many projections we receive are subtle―only your intuitive hits alert you their presence.
Many however, especially those we received when younger, will have obvious verbal clues, often in the form of parents or teachers telling us what we are and aren't good at.
Can you see what projections were placed on you in the past? If you feel called to, try journaling and witness what arises.
From a shamanic perspective, the verbal projections we receive when we're younger can become curses. Yes, it's a loaded word that probably conjures images of wizards and fairy princesses. But it also offers us an extremely accurate description of what happens when we receive and then internalize a limiting belief about ourselves.
In my practice, I'll often tend to this phenomena with either extractions or curse-unraveling. These are very energetic processes, ones that clears the imprints of projection from your field and energy body. When I'm able to work in person with someone, I'll also use specific essential oils from the Jade Purity Taoist tradition to anoint relevant meridian points―it's fascinating how our body's energetic blueprints actually shift to accommodate the beliefs of others, and how we can undo these shifts through energy medicine and shamanic practice.
Shadow Work: Is It a Projection or a Blindspot?
As detrimental as projections are, we also need to realize that sometimes a viewpoint isn't a projection so much as an arrow to one of our own blindspots.
Whenever you become aware how someone else's views about you are influencing you, it's important to ask yourself, are you experiencing a projection of something that's not true, or a reflection of something you just don't want to see in yourself?
Sometimes the answer will be obvious, but more often this will not be an easy process. It forces you to look at your own shadow, to really question what you believe and know about yourself. And I’m not going to lie―this can be a painful.
If you can dive deep, however, you will emerge with greater self-knowledge, strength, and resilience.
I've found shamanic practice to be especially effective at helping us see the difference between projections and blindspots. The helping spirits can reflect back to us who we truly are. They provide guidance to help us see where we are in alignment with our truth and where we've fallen off balance. And so much more.
Owning Our Own Projections of Others
As you investigate the places where projections have impacted your life, as I hope you're inspired to do, remember to check your own projections of others, as well.
It's all too easy to think you know someone better than they know themselves―to convince yourself that what you see is their blindspots, that your intuition is spot on.
Maybe this is true, and maybe it isn't. What would you see if you dropped that belief?
This line of questioning is especially important for those who consider themselves to be highly intuitive or empathic, as well as anyone who works in a healing profession. Always question your reactions and assumptions about others. With practice, you’ll begin to more easily discern between what is true intuition and what is a limiting projection.
If you have a meditation or journey practice, these are wonderful question to bring to your own spirit guides. Ask them to show you where you're holding false beliefs and projections about others, and then ask that they help you heal and release those projections. See if there are clues or patterns you can notice about where you start projecting versus intuiting.
As you explore these questions, you may like to focus on people you feel a strong charge around. If you have strong emotional reactions or triggers around someone, it’s worth seeing what might be lying beneath the surface. This is such a gift to yourself and others.
A Final Blessing
I honor all who endeavor to both free themselves from the projections of others and who are willing to do the deep work of owning their own projections.
May we all remember our true selves with greater clarity and joy every day.